


In Their Defense, They Could Have Died

by InfiniteInMystery



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alcohol, As Usual Gintoki's In The Wrong Place At The Wrong Time, Bestiality, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Is Amanto Sex Basically Bestiality, M/M, PWP, Smut, attempted humor, don't drink kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:59:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24793498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteInMystery/pseuds/InfiniteInMystery
Summary: After the fight with Utsuro is over and done with, Gintoki overhears something he'd rather not.Looks like Zura made an exciting friend and he's finally getting what he wants.
Relationships: Neptune Shoukaku/Katsura Kotarou
Kudos: 23





	In Their Defense, They Could Have Died

**Author's Note:**

> Uh. It was an accidental prompt.
> 
> You know who you are.

Gintoki wasn't really sure how _this_ happened, how he ended up being in the wrong place at the wrong time, how their paths just _happened_ to cross ways. It had to be a joke, some cosmic jab at him for causing this huge galactic mess. The only thing Gintoki was sure of was that he had drunk too much on his own and had relocated his stomach's contents, possibly half of his body weight with it, before he had even stumbled into the bar's bathroom.

The world hadn't ended. Utsuro was dead – well, as dead as he could be, anyway – and the partying had been going on for more than twenty-four hours. The heroes had gotten more than their fair share of free booze from the bars still standing. Friends had come and gone to drink with him and praise him for a job well done, yet Gintoki had still ended up alone. Alone with his thoughts, his feelings, his confusion.

That was how Gintoki found himself locked into a bathroom stall in one of the few bars still standing in perfect condition, hovering over the porcelain throne with his hands on his knees, heaving up the remnants of the alcohol poisoning his already weakened system. He was wrapped up like a mummy still from the fighting, bandages here and there and everywhere, and every heave opened up a new wound on his abdomen, shot pain straight into his tender head. He needed to sleep, needed _something_. It was almost two in the morning again and the party had only started to die out.

 _I really need to stop drinking._ But how could he? Especially with Utsuro fresh in his mind? That smile? Those eyes? The moment of recognition and trust that had almost gotten Gintoki killed? How could Gintoki look at his friends and smile knowing that his actions back on that hill, with Shouyou, with his friends screaming at him and begging him to make the right choice, was the only reason Utsuro himself emerged. How could he stand there and smile, knowing he had threatened and endangered everyone he had sworn to protect. _Ironic. I help save the world after being the reason it almost ended, and now I'll drink myself into my grave._

Gintoki's eyelashes were wet as he flushed the toilet, and it wasn't because he had just thrown up six times.

His internal crisis didn't last very long because the door to the bathroom suddenly burst open, two individuals giggling as they quickly entered the small room. Gintoki glanced over his shoulder at the stall door behind him, tired eyes first sliding to the lock to make sure it was in place. It was one of those doors that reached the floor for optimum privacy, nothing but a three-foot gap between the door and the ceiling to give way to prying eyes. It wasn't that Gintoki wanted to _hide_ from people, it was just that he was overwhelmed. Too many compliments, too many pats on the back, too many eyes and praises and hands and opinions.

“Lock the door.”

Gintoki slapped a hand over his eyes and did his best not to groan at his rotten luck. What was this, a cosmic jab? Of all people, that voice belonged to _Katsura_. _Why is he here? Did he see me come in?_

“Oh, we want some privacy then?” The lock on the door clicked anyway, the sound cutting through the air decisively.

That voice, Gintoki couldn't immediately place, but it was low and gruff and coy. The man already sounded like he was up to trouble, which meant Zura was _already_ up to no good. The world had been safe for only twenty-four hours! Gintoki stood up straight, wondering if he should flush the toilet again just to indicate that he was present before interrupting Katsura's little rendezvous with whomever it was that he was seeing privately.

“Well you can leave the door unlocked, I don't really care. What I care about...” Katsura laughed. He was teasing, his voice haughty and slurred, indicating the lightweight had drunk more than a bottle. Gintoki wasn't surprised he was drinking, but he was surprised at how playful Katsura sounded. “What I care about is that you told me I took your heart away. Those, Mr. Captain of the Harusame 4th Division and One of the Three Ominous Stars: Neptune Shoukaku, are fighting words.”

 _Captain of the Harusame 4_ _th_ _Division?_ Gintoki raised an eyebrow, leaning against the door of the stall curiously. Gintoki would like to claim eavesdropping was beneath him, but it wasn't. _You stole his heart, Zura? A big, furry, monkey?_

Shoukaku laughed, his voice rumbling through the small bathroom. “Oh? I thought my title was too long and hard to remember, Little Zura?”

Katsura chuckled, and Gintoki braced himself for Katsura's punchline. “There are surely other things about you that are longer and harder, so what does it matter?”

That hadn't been the answer Gintoki had been expecting. Gintoki's eyes widened, a smile twitching on his face. He glanced at his shoes, eyebrows creasing as Shoukaku chuckled at that response, low and hearty and possibly a purr. Gintoki didn't miss his chance to escape, did he? He could still flush the toilet and make his way out, pretending like he didn't just hear Katsura attempting to _flirt_? _Would Zura be embarrassed I overheard? Do I care? No. I need to flush the toilet right now and clear my throat and then get the hell out of here!_

“You're still just a dainty little guy with a womanly face, but down here...” Shoukaku said. There was movement, Katsura moaning gently through a laugh. Gintoki placed a hand over his mouth, eyes wide in realization and horror, his fingers hesitating over the latch for the toilet even though he needed to flush _now_. “You're still a little demon though, aren't you? Didn't realize the Heavenly Four were so impure.”

Katsura moaned. Gintoki gently cupped his other hand over his mouth, eyes closing as he realized _he had missed his chance._ The toilet wasn't going to be flushed, his throat wasn't going to be cleared, and there wouldn't be any teasing as Gintoki fled the room. Gintoki was stuck there, leaning against the corner of the stall, listening to one of his best friends _moan_.

Outside in the fancy little bathroom, Katsura had his back pressed against the edge of the sink. The fingers on his right hand were threaded through Shoukaku's belt, pulling Shoukaku closer between his knees while Katsura's other had worked the Amanto's pants open. He leaned back with a smile, head tilting up as the Amanto towered over him, something about the way the fur rippled when the beast moved turned Katsura on. Katsura had wondered if he would have felt the same way had the Amanto not fought him so valiantly, but Katsura had decided that he liked this Amanto _specifically;_ not that he had any shame with adding new kinks to his already long list of peculiar preferences. The world had almost ended; Katsura would indulge himself, would chase this urge, and see where it led him.

Between Katsura's legs, Shoukaku's hands were giving him a nice firm squeeze. Katsura had already been hard coming into the bathroom, was now fully erect and obviously wanting more. He was a little tipsy, but he had seen that shock of blonde fur and had instantly felt warm, had waltzed over to the other Captain and had started talking his way into what he wanted. It hadn't been hard. Shoukaku had been having similar thoughts, it turned out.

Katsura's face was tilted up, eyes roaming over the scarred face of the Captain, those few scars from Katsura's own blade. Shoukaku was grinning, teeth fixed up and sharp as they should be. But when Katsura glanced to the side he felt a slight tinge of _something_ – not guilt, no, but definitely some sort of remorse – and his right hand reached out for Shoukaku's missing arm. Gently, Katsura placed his hand against the stub still wrapped in bandages, the Amanto warm but flinching beneath his fingertips at the contact.

“Perhaps if we had met on better terms...” Katsura said gently. He stared at it, remembering it had been for his own protection, to keep his own life.

“If we had met on better terms, we never would have looked at each other twice.” Shoukaku said. He squeezed his hand, humming pleasantly at Katsura's resounding grunt. “If we had met on better terms, you never would have had a reason to come back for me. What was it about the fight that you liked so much? The adrenaline? Or the part where you abandoned yourself and let loose? What excites you, Katsura Kotarou?”

“I want more.” Katsura said. He'd never had a hard time communicating what he wanted, had never had too much of a hard time getting it either. He dropped his hand down over Shoukaku's and gripped it tight, rocking his hips into them. He glanced up, teeth bared into a smile. “ _More._ ”

“You wanted more back in our fight, too.” Shoukaku laughed as he obliged, palming Katsura through his yukata. “And I know better than to say no. That hard head of yours will get what it wants, won't it?”

“It's not 'hard head', it's Katsura.” Katsura said. He pulled off his obi, letting his yukata fall slightly open before sliding his hands into the fur at Shoukaku's chest. He kneaded his fingers through the hair, seeking out pert nipples and rubbing them painfully between his fingers until the beast gasped. Shoukaku laughed before pressing his face into the crook of Katsura's neck, inhaling deeply. He pressed his hand harder into Katsura's crotch, Katsura making sure he moaned right in the Amanto's ear.

“It's still a hard head.” Shoukaku laughed, his hand finally slipping into Katsura's yukata, large, warm fingers sliding over and around hot and heavy skin. Katsura sighed contently as Shoukaku squeezed. “And you better have something in those pockets of yours to make this easier or you're going to be one disappointed little samurai.”

“A samurai never comes unprepared.” Katsura said. He hoisted himself up onto the sink, his knees firm on either side of Shoukaku's hips as he removed his hands from the Amanto's chest. He grabbed the collar of his yukata, pulling it open to expose himself. There was a clatter on the sink beside him, several objects falling out from hidden pockets sewn into the fabric. There was a thin wallet with a condom poking out of it and a free ticket for a parfait, a thick ring that no doubt contained keys Katsura shouldn't even have, a bottle of Gorilla Away Spray, and a new bottle of lube. Shoukaku's eyes slid to the lube, but when he moved his hand to reach for it, Katsura slapped his hand away.

“Allow me.” Katsura said, eyes turning up mischievously before he snatched up the bottle. He popped open the cap, generously pouring into his hand before rubbing it between his fingers to get them coated and slippery.

Shoukaku leaned back, eyes pleasantly on Katsura's hand, watching as those fingers disappeared down between their bodies. His furry eyebrows shot up when Katsura's dry hand went for his pants and pulled them open, his wet hand sliding down into the fabric and grabbing onto Shoukaku's impressive length.

Shoukaku gasped at the contact, his face pressing back into the crook of Katsura's neck, lips pressing against his skin. Katsura wasn't sure if he was holding back from biting, but the Amanto moaned when Katsura slipped his other hand in too, both of them jerking and fondling the beast to full mast.

“Didn't expect it to be this big?” Shoukaku asked with a laugh, his own hand moving back between Katsura's legs. He easily wrapped his hand around Katsura's erection, sliding it teasingly slow. Katsura moaned loud, pressing his face into Shoukaku's furry shoulder to try and muffle it. He rocked his hips, the sensations going straight to his head. He decided he liked this. There was danger lurking beneath Shoukaku's gentle care. It set Katsura's heart racing.

“Get some of that on my hand.” Shoukaku said. He opened his palm, turning it upright. Breathless, Katsura hummed in agreement. He reached for the bottle of lube, coating the Amanto's fingers, his own a little jerky with excitement. “Don't worry about me for a minute, worry about yourself. Don't forget two of your fingers is only one of mine.”

“Good.” Katsura chuckled, head turning towards Shoukaku. He slid his own slick hand between his legs, fingers searching and pressing into himself with a heavy breath. He leaned back for show, watching Shoukaku's eyes on him. His breathing picked up, head turned towards the ceiling as he sunk a finger in, his other hand clutching to the Amanto's furry chest. “You don't have to worry about me.”

“Just keep going like that.” Shoukaku said, his own hand sliding into his own pants. “Don't sweat the small things, or you'll be met with misfortune, isn't that what you said to me once? Well, do it right the first time, Zura.”

“It's not Zura, it's Katsura.” Katsura said, sliding a second finger into himself. He grunted, head tilting to the side into Shoukaku's face as he raised a leg higher on the other's waist, working himself open. “You know, I'm very flexible. This could be a lot more fun than just some bickering over a sink.”

“You know, this would also be a lot more fun if we weren't in a little cramped bathroom where anyone could walk in, and it would be even more exciting if weapons were involved.” Shoukaku said mischievously.

“Oh, sounds like a date- you didn't lock the door?” Katsura asked, his voice suddenly pitching. He stopped what he was doing, head-turning towards the door so fast that his hair whipped around him.

“I don't know, did I?” Shoukaku asked, moving to block Katsura's view of the door. He shifted around to prevent Katsura from seeing, laughing as he did so. “You told me all you cared about was about how you've stolen my heart, not about the lock on the door.”

“You need to lock the door!” Katsura said, but he laughed when Shoukaku seized his hands and pushed them away, taking up Katsura's job for him. Suddenly Katsura had both hands on the sink behind him as Shoukaku hiked up his legs higher around his waist, the Amanto taking a single slick finger and pressing it in. Katsura gasped, back arching at the stretch, his hips rocking slowly into the Amanto's hand. He moaned into it, tilting his hips until the pressure was just right.

“You're so slow.” Shoukaku complained, working his finger in. “Our battle was fought and won by now.”

“And if you remember correctly, the battle also ended with me breaking your pole.” Katsura threatened. He reached out, fingers sliding back through the fur, petting and tugging and smearing the lube until Katsura's thumb was sliding over hard nubs.

Shoukaku laughed before pushing Katsura onto his back. With his elbows, Katsura braced himself from pressing uncomfortably into the sink beneath him. The Amanto folded over him, Katsura's legs spreading wider, that finger quickly pumping into Katsura to make sure he was good and open. “I doubt this pole won't break _you_ , so my fingers are going to have to do.”

“Hah- that's a weak will. We can both do better than that.” Katsura said, hands sliding across Shoukaku's chest again, his breath coming out in short pants. He glanced up, eyelids narrowed coyly. “You only have one arm, so you better hope you can get it _in_ or you might be left terribly wanting after. I'm not above leaving a man hanging, you know.”

“Oh? You plan on only getting your fill and leaving me to finish off myself? I guess you _are_ Runaway Kotarou. Intimidated by the task at hand, Kotarou?” Shoukaku asked. He slowed his finger down, a second pressing and pushing at Katsura's entrance. Katsura gasped his back arching, fingers clawing at the Amanto's chest. They took it slow, breathing into each other's space until Katsura was giggling and sliding his hands again. His hip rocked just right and both of Shoukaku's fingers slid deep into him.

Katsura gasped, tugging on Shoukaku's fur so tightly that the Amanto moaned. They rocked together until Katsura was pushing at Shoukaku's shoulders, the Amanto wiggling his fingers around, padding against leathery walls.

“Just get it in or I'll have to make a strategic retreat and leave you hanging.” Katsura threatened breathlessly.

Shoukaku laughed, wiggling his fingers for good measure before pulling them out. “You're really a beast after all.”

“I am not a beast, I'm Katsu-” Katsura gasped, fingers tightening in fur as Shoukaku pushed in. His head tilted back as the Amanto slowly sheathed, Katsura straining to accommodate his size. Katsura grunted, a strangled moan leaving him as the Amanto slid halfway in before pausing, Shoukaku panting heavily over him. The size difference was great, but not something Katsura would give in to. Being filled past his limits made his dick jump, a needy whine leaving the back of his throat as pleasure coursed through him.

“Not tearing you apart, am I?” Shoukaku asked, his voice pitched awkwardly. He was trying to be careful, Katsura could tell, but he also just wanted to _go._

Katsura groaned, legs spreading wider to alleviate the strain. “Of course not. Don't go further than this though.” He said, gasping, head tilting back and exposing his neck. “Just be quick.”

They finished in record time. The size difference drove them both to climax prematurely, Shoukaku coming first on his way out of Katsura. Shoukaku wasn't fast enough. The sensation of being filled and that thick hand suddenly gripping tight as the Amanto moaned was enough to send Katsura over the edge. Katsura cried out loud, euphoria taking over him in ways it had never had, leaving him seeing stars. When he came back down, Shoukaku was still breathless over him, chuckling contently. Katsura's stomach was sloppy, wetter than it had ever been before. Laughing, Katsura allowed Shoukaku to help him up on the sink, the samurai still panting. He didn't try standing, his head light with pleasure and his balancing wavering from the alcohol still. It had been short-lived, but it had been worth it.

“Sorry, you were complaining that our battle had been fought and won by now?” Katsura asked with a laugh before he tilted his head up, pressing his lips to Shoukaku's cheek.

Shoukaku laughed too, hand on Katsura's hip to steady him, catching his breath. He tried to defend himself, but it only made Katsura laugh more. “The first battle is always the most exciting?”

“Next time then?” Katsura asked, sliding off the edge of the sink onto wobbly knees. He snorted, flopping into the Amanto's side for support.

“Next time.” Shoukaku said. His laughter rumbled through the small bathroom as he fixed Katsura's yukata. “Next time, we meet on the street and you're not trying to out drink me.”

“Oh, exciting.”

Back in the stall, Gintoki was sitting on the nice polished floor. He had both hands pressed over his ears, eyes squeezed closed. His knees were drawn to his chest face hidden in them as he tried to block out the noises from outside. He was hard, painfully hard, his brain trying to think of anything and everything that could get rid of the erection, trying to remind himself that it was Katsura out there, and Katsura was the last guy Gintoki wanted to overhear getting laid. On one hand, Gintoki was both surprised and appalled that _Katsura_ of all people would do something like this in a public bathroom with an _Amanto_. On the other hand, Gintoki wasn't surprised Katsura's desires were really this weird, was happy Katsura had been taken care of and pleasured, and it really sounded like he had been _pleasured_. His friends deserve nice things, after all. He wished all his friends happy sex lives.

When Katsura and Shoukaku left, giggling like animals, Gintoki stayed an extra ten minutes trying to sort himself out.

He didn't.


End file.
